Hello Friends! Oh my it has been awhile. One thing I have discovered since being at this university is that I have many things to do. I often times forget to eat dinner because I’ll be up reading chapter after chapter of some assigned book for English class. I really miss the leisurely time Summer offered me so that I was able to write whenever I wanted to. Now I find it a privilege to have time to write at all.
Anyway, today I wanted to write about something I believe everyone struggles with: rejection. I struggle very much with rejection and also dealing with rejection. If your like me, and your new to the world of University or even if your new to a school in general, your probably trying out for things and attempting to get involved. It could range anywhere from sport activities to fine art activities. I know I should not have expected anything grand to happen but I’ll tell you my story anyway.
On September 10th I had my first scheduled theatre audition at University. The entire day leading up to that audition was pure chaos. I had more classes than I anticipated and the only thing on my mind was my 8:15 pm slot time. I was clearly distracted the entire day but when 2:40 pm arrived and I was done classes I pushed aside all the work I knew I had to complete and I practiced that one minute monologue for hours. I had terrible butterflies in my stomach and I watched the time go by on my clock. I put on my most confident audition outfit and marched in my one inch heels to the theatre on campus. I waited and waited for my name to be called. Suddenly the double doors swung open and I heard my full name called as I was escorted to the directors table. Four smiling adults stared at me as I awkwardly walked over to them in my heels ( I’m terrible at walking in heels and my feet were very sweaty). I told them my name and we exchanged little conversation. I then knew I had one minute to wow the pants off these directors. After that it was all a blur. Somehow I did the audition, and walked out of the theater alive. I knew walking out I was toast.
So, today I reluctantly went to check the call back list and without even looking I knew my name would not be printed on that white sheet of paper. I have been sort of walking around in sadness today because I thought I could do better. I thought I was a better actress and I wanted to make it. Maybe because I have been in several productions in high school and assumed this would be easy. I will never again assume anything related to University is easy.
So friends, if you are dealing with any kind of rejection and are thinking badly of yourself I think it is in your best interest to not. After I walked out of one of my classes today I reflected on what my professor told us. She said to not dwell on what you don’t like about yourself or what you have done wrong today. It’s purely a waste of your time. You don’t really know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You can predict what may happen but you don’t really know. Instead you can reflect on the good things that have happened to you today or this week. Being happy is an essential part of life. If you waste every day being grumpy then you’ll miss all the good things that come to you.
I would recommend finding ways to cheer yourself up. I’m doing this by writing to you all. It won’t fix my problem but it will definitely help. Go hang out with friends or family. Do something that makes you feel happy. It will surely make you feel better.
Until next time,